Make social connection your New Year’s resolution
Commissioner Gwen Cherne
Veteran Family Advocate
As the year draws to a close, the holiday season is a perfect time to enjoy some cherished moments with family and friends. It’s a chance to recharge and celebrate with the people who matter most.
But as we celebrate with our loved ones, we must remember that for many the holiday season can also be a time of intensified feelings of loneliness and grief, especially for many veterans and veteran families. Our bonds with family, friends, colleagues and our broader community can enrich our lives. So, when these connections are lacking, their absence is keenly felt. The weight of grief can also be particularly heavy during this time.
Building and maintaining strong social connections is crucial for everyone. Yet, current research shows a decline in these connections. We have fewer close friends, and meaningful interactions have become rarer. Loneliness is now chronic in Australia.
Loneliness is more than social isolation. It is not just an absence of interactions, or our number of social ties. It is about the quality and quantity of our connections and how they meet our expectations. Loneliness is a feeling of distress that your social needs aren’t being met. Momentary loneliness is normal, like fleeting hunger. But chronic loneliness is like starvation.
Prolonged feelings of isolation, loneliness and grief can lead to deep emotional pain, a burden that veterans and families often carry. Without the right support, these issues can escalate and become more costly, both emotionally and mentally.
As a society, we are getting better at recognising the importance of self-care practices. The next step is being more intentional about checking in on whether our social needs are being met. And for those who have experienced trauma or grief, it is about learning how to reconnect with the world.
The impact of these seemingly small changes can be substantial. But connection alone is no longer enough. Our families and veterans require profound and meaningful connections. As we delve further into this critical issue, it becomes evident that addressing these challenges necessitates a multifaceted approach.
So, what actions can we take to help alleviate the problem of loneliness? One step is to build stronger connections within communities, including the veteran support sector.
This year, we have seen numerous ex-service organisations come together to engage in discussions about potential models for a national peak body. Such a body would help build greater consistency of support across the sector, which could strengthen communities and close service delivery gaps. Actions that help veterans connect to communities would assist in combatting loneliness while also improving the delivery of vital services. I encourage our ESOs to continue to pursue this important work.
Recently, I visited Family by Family at The Australian Centre for Social Innovation (TACSI) in South Australia. While there, I gained a deeper understanding of alternative family support models and explored potential ways DVA could engage with families.
At the core of TACSI’s philosophy lies the fundamental belief that individuals are the foremost experts in their own lives. TACSI holds that the most effective innovations arise from collaborative efforts alongside individuals who directly confront the challenges we seek to overcome. There are also valuable lessons we can draw from TACSI’s approach that could assist in addressing loneliness. Particularly its emphasis on the significance of lived experience in the process of identifying and implementing more holistic and effective outcomes for families.
Building on these insights, it’s clear we need to ensure that veteran and family voices are integrated into government decision-making processes. Empowering families with the right tools and information is crucial for their wellbeing. This requires investing in quality programs, services and available supports across all regions.
It also means making sure families have the right information at the right time for where they are in their lives.
It is clear there is much more work ahead to address loneliness, along with the many other challenges facing our veteran families. There are still hurdles that prevent them from accessing the support they need and we must simplify and streamline pathways to care.
For many of us, our families are the cornerstone of our lives. They are some of our most important connections and greatest safeguard against falling into loneliness. Veterans, like all of us, lean on their families in tough times, and it’s only fair that families have dedicated supports available to them.
But while systemic work continues to progress, it is also important to be mindful of what each of us can do as individuals for the people around us. This holiday period, please take a moment to reach out to your loved ones. Don’t underestimate the difference emotional support can make to someone’s life, especially for veterans and veteran families who may be navigating grief or loneliness.
It’s a time to rekindle and savour the company of others and provide the emotional care and understanding that is especially needed during the holidays.
Before I close, I also want to acknowledge the many people who are out there working tirelessly for our community. I commend your efforts. You are creating a groundswell of recognition and change. Your work improves the lives of veteran families every single day. Please keep it up. You are making a difference!
Images:
With war widow Maria on War Widows Day in Sydney
With fellow attendees of the Legacy Centenary Dinner in Melbourne