Men's Health Peer Education Magazine

Vol.9 | No.3 | September 2010

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In this issue:

The Perfect Combination

Chris Clarke 

Since the end of my own marriage was early and completely unexpected, I have always considered myself unqualified to comment on relationships. However, on reflection, I wonder if we were not perhaps the perfect combination, and our marriage just about ideal, including, for some, even its length of about four years.

We fulfilled most of the conventional wisdom of the times. We were first of all best friends with heaps of common interests which we had pursued together with zest as innocent companions long before any other form of relationship occurred to us.

Secondly we operated as an off-screen comedy duo, finding all aspects of life equally hilarious. This eventually extended of course to sex, which is the most absurd behaviour we ever engage in. I mean, can you imagine saying to someone “I like you so much that I’ve got this great idea. Let’s both take all our clothes off, and …”

The mistake most people make is to take this exercise in temporary insanity too seriously. We on the other hand spent most of the attempt so helpless with laughter that it took considerable concentration for us to get beyond first base.

People look knowing when I tell them that I could recall not one single argument in the time we were together, as though it is common wisdom to worry if your shoes are too comfortable.

“Didn’t you realise that something was wrong,” people asked me later, “Didn’t you see it coming?”

Well, no. It was all going so well. And when your spouse is an accomplished comedian, the distinction between an elaborate practical joke and the unexpected demise of your relationship can be tricky to spot. She had difficulty persuading me that it was not the ultimate jest – and perhaps it was.

We did try to take the farewell scene seriously. You think that like the first moon landing the words will remain of cosmic significance. As I was then to leave by car from the rear laneway, our mistake was to hold the scene by our little-used backdoor. Which proved to be jammed tight when I finally turned to leave. After high farce with both of us straining on the handle to let me out, we collapsed in giggles on the carpet. But she was truly gone when I got back.

Many years later circumstances brought us back in touch, and she invited me to a house-warming party. As I entered she turned to the other guests and said “This is Mr Clarke, whom none of you believed had ever existed.”

Instantly I replied “No, I’m really an actor she hired to play the part of her former husband.” And the comedy act, if not the relationship, had scarcely been interrupted - still the perfect combination.

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Editorial

Naomi Mulcahy
National Coordinator Men’s Health Peer Education

Welcome to the Carers, Family and Relationships Issue

Since the last edition, Naomi Blundell has taken maternity leave and we’ve received the good news that her family has extended one more time to include a baby girl.  While Naomi is on leave, I’ll be looking after the National MHPE Coordinator position.    Previously I was the NSW & ACT MHPE State Coordinator, so stepping up to the National position provides a great opportunity to expand and shape the program for the future. 

The topic of this edition is Carers, Family and Relationships.  Regardless of how our life is structured, we will all at some time in our life, know the experience of being part of a family, a relationship and that of a carer.  All of these experiences can bring a range of emotions into our life: happiness, fear, frustration, love, loneliness, grief and contentment – the list will be different for each of us.  Also, there is no one definition of “family”, “relationship” and “carer”. 

The family image of the quarter acre block, white picket fence with a stay at home mother is no longer the main reality.  Instead we have “blended families”, “single-parent families” and a large proportion of our population will remain single.  Also, each generation will bring its own characteristics and values to the family unit and this creates an interesting dynamic to how a family functions.  Whether you have a family of your own, have become part of another family or have a family of friends, it can be hard at times to balance work and life commitments with those of the family.  As we age, time spent with family often becomes more important.  I think there would be few people out there who would say on their deathbed, I wish I’d spent more time at work.  Life is meant to be lived with other people.  Spending time alone and enjoying your own company is a good thing, but connecting with others whether they be family or friends can bring immense meaning to our life.

 From an early age, we learn that interaction with others will be a necessary part of life.   Through this interaction relationships form and often the success of those relationships, whether they be personal, work-related, family or friend, will depend greatly on how we communicate and behave with others.   They will also change over time due to a range of external factors and our own personal development.  Military life creates an additional layer of complexity to a relationship.  Long periods of absence, multiple tours,  war and service related experiences can take their toll on a relationship.   However, it is possible to learn the skills and knowledge that can give us more meaningful and resilient relationships.

We often hear a person say that they don’t see themselves as a carer.  For many people who end up caring for someone else, labelling themselves a carer changes or redefines the nature of that relationship.  Instead, they feel that caring is just another element or natural progression of the relationship.  Even so, caring for someone can be a major responsibility and it can impact quite profoundly on our life.   Also, many men are now taking on the role of carer which was traditionally seen as a female role.  We also receive feedback that several of our MHPE volunteers find themselves providing a caring and supportive role to many of their mates.  Carers need to know about the range of services that are available to assist them in their role.  They also need to remember that looking after their own needs and developing a support system is an essential part of being an effective carer.

In this issue you will find a range of articles.  We have included personal stories and I would like to thank these writers for sharing their experience with us.   We have also included articles on organisations that can provide you with information, advice and assistance.

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For the diary: health weeks & events.   

September (month)
International Prostate Cancer Awareness Month
www.prostate.org.au

September 10
World Suicide Prevention Day
www.un.org 

September 9-13
National Stroke Week
www.strokefoundation.com.au 

September 16-27
Dementia Awareness Week
www.alzheimers.org.au 

September 28
World Heart Day
www.un.org 

October (month)
Anxiety and Depression Awareness Month
www.beyondblue.org.au 

October 1
Register for Movemeber
www.movember.com/

October 3-9
Sleep Awareness Week
www.sleepoz.org.au

October 10-16
Mental Health Week
www.waamh.org.au  

October 10-16
National Nutrition Week
www.nutritionaustralia.org 

October 14
World Sight Day
www.vision2020australia.org.au

October 20
World Osteoporosis Day
www.osteoporosis.org.au 

November (month)
Movember
www.movember.com 

November 11
Heart Foundation Walking Day
www.heartfoundation.org.au

November 11
Remembrance Day
www.awm.gov.au and your local ex-service organisations.

November 14
World Diabetes Day
www.diabetesaustralia.gov.au

November 19
International Men’s Day
www.internationalmensday.com 

December 5
International Volunteer Day
www.volunteeringaustralia.org

For more events visit the Department of Health and Ageing 2010 Events Calendar on www.health.gov.au

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Men Care Too

Jennifer Daddow
Educator and Community Development Worker
National Carer Support Services
Jennifer.daddow@carersvictoria.org.au

Barry had long been proud of his distinguished military career in Korea and Vietnam.

He had always been a man of action, able to take control in an emergency and able to respond quickly and confidently when decisions were called for.  Following his military career, Barry and his wife Janis enjoyed their married life: watching their children become independent, reveling in the birth of grandchildren, and travelling around Australia in their van.  

When Janis was first diagnosed with a degenerative neurological condition, Barry was shocked but felt it was something which could be managed. He had always managed crises before.  However, as time wore on, the caring role demanded responses from him which were not part of his background, and certainly not within his comfort zone. As his wife became more and more dependent on him for her daily needs, he not only had the practical details of her illness to deal with, but also unexpected effects: the impact on his self esteem, increasing loss of control over his daily activities, social isolation, mixed emotions, including grief, as his relationship with Janis changed, and complex family dynamics.

Barry’s story is not unusual.

There are often unexpected challenges which carers face, in addition to the immediate trials of the illness itself.

For men in particular, the change of role to carer can be quite profound. Barry, like many men, had spent years of his life with his primary focus outside the home – managing the demands of career and taking a secondary role within the family. Barry felt confined at times by being so much inside four walls – he called it ‘cabin fever’ -  and less autonomous than he had been. More than that, he felt frustrated that he couldn’t get caring tasks done in the ‘just do it!’ style of the past – the style on which his military career had been built. He lost his cool from time to time, and that led to feelings of remorse and shame.

Barry also felt the pressure of the family expectations. The children of course loved their mother, and couldn’t understand why Barry, who in the past had been their coping, strong and resourceful father, sometimes wanted to run away from the seemingly endless round of responsibility. And they had their own grief to cope with as they watched their mother deteriorate, and Barry felt exhausted by their need for reassurance when he himself often felt he was running on empty.

However, the tide began to slowly turn for Barry when the doctor casually referred to Barry as a ‘carer’ during one of her home visits. It was news to Barry that he was a carer; until that point he had seen himself just as a husband living out his promise ‘in sickness and in health’. But seeing himself as a carer opened Barry up to community support which had been invisible to him prior to that.  He discovered that a ‘carers’ support group’ for the veteran community existed in his neighbourhood. He felt immense relief when he tentatively attended his first meeting and heard other men verbalize many of the issues which he experienced.

There was also a lot of laughter which did Barry good, and a chance to stand back from the immediacy of his caring role and take stock.

From that point on, Barry began to gain confidence in himself. With support and encouragement from others on the same journey, he was able to be less harsh in the way he assessed himself. He became more able to acknowledge that he was doing his best, and it didn’t need to be ‘perfect’. He was able to be more frank with his adult children, and able to accept their offers of help. He began to look out more for his own needs, and realized the need to have a daily walk and a sit and read of the newspaper.

Barry discovered that even in the most difficult of circumstances, little sparks of hope and joy could be nurtured.

National Carer Support Services (NCSS) is a program for the veteran and ex-service community. It provides a range of services including community development initiatives, resource development and interactive educational workshops and programs which explore a range of topics with strategies for enhanced health and well being.  NCSS is a program of Carers Victoria funded by DVA.  Call  NCSS on (03) 9396 9500 for a brochure or more information."

Each state has a Carer Association and you can contact them by calling the Carer Advisory & Counselling Service on 1800 242 636 to find out more about the services available in your state.

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Topical Topics

The MHPE editorial committee are inviting suggestions for magazine themes for 2011.  The list below is all of the topics from our magazine since 2002.  If you would like to see something new, or want us to revisit an old topic send your suggestion to the Editor.

• 2002
• June No theme
• September Alcohol Screening; Could Diabetes Affect you; Prostate Problems
• December Christmas Food and Exercise; the Gut & Mental Health - Stagnation
• 2003
• March Pills & Dills; The Right Mix; Resistance Training
• June Dementia; Getting Ready for Retirement; Alcohol and Medication
• September Spring Into Action; Music Oils Stiff Joints; Fun Recreation
• December Summer Love; Exercise for the Elderly
• 2004
• March Resilience;  Being A Bloke (much more than testosterone)
• June Love Handles;  Dying for a Fag
• December Sleep Better - How?; Diabetes
• 2005
• April Addictive Behaviour; Why Don’t You Go To the Doctor?
• September Your Hearing and Tinnitus
• December Dental and Oral Health
• 2006
• March Mental Wellness
• June Breathe Easy – Good Lung Health
• September Move It or Lose It : the benefits of exercise
• December Osteoporosis, Falls & Fractures
• 2007
• March Moving Forward With……
• June Male Sexual Health
• September Myths and Truths about Diabetes
• December Relationships and Communication
• 2008
• March Healthy Workplace, Healthy Life
• June A Trip Down Memory Lane
• September Spring into Health
• December ‘Tis the Season to be Jolly
• 2009
• March Five Senses
• June Accident Prevention
• September None
• December Nutrition and Healthy Eating
• 2010
• March Travel Health
• June The Men’s Issue
• September Carers, Family and Relationships
• December Grief and Loss

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The Good Sleep Guide

Veterans’Mates Get the Best from your medicines

Not being able to sleep is a common problem. It can cause worry and lead to more sleep problems. Often our day and evening routines, and our beliefs about sleep, determine how well we sleep.  Here is what the experts say…

During the day. Get up at the same time each day. Establish daily routines for meals, activities, taking medicines.  Try to spend at least 30 minutes outdoors each day to help set your body clock. Avoid daytime naps particularly after 3pm.  Try to be more active during the day.

During the evening.  Do not sleep or doze in the armchair. Keep sleep for bedtime.

Allow yourself time to wind down during the evening.  If you find yourself worrying, put your day to rest by writing down a list of your concerns. Decide to deal with them tomorrow.  Avoid caffeine, smoking and alcohol near bedtime. They interfere with either getting to sleep or staying asleep. Make sure your bed and bedroom are comfortable - not too cold or too warm. Reduce light and noise.  Avoid a heavy meal close to bedtime. If you are hungry, a snack may help you sleep.

At bedtime.   Have a bedtime routine so your body knows you are preparing for sleep. Try a warm shower, a snack or listening to relaxing music.  Go to bed only when you are sleepy.  Don’t watch TV or use a computer in bed. Only read in bed if it helps you fall asleep.  Enjoy relaxing even if you do not at first fall asleep.  Sleep problems are not as damaging as you might think. Getting frustrated or worried about not being able to sleep makes it harder to fall asleep.  If you are still awake after about 20 minutes, get up and do something relaxing. Go back to bed when you feel sleepy.

Speak to your doctor if you are frequently getting up at night to go to the toilet.

Did you know?

• People with sleep problems often get more sleep than they think.
• We generally need less sleep now than we did when we were younger.
• Worrying about a bad night’s sleep affects us more the next day than the lack of sleep.

Medication

Medication is not a good choice for long-term sleep problems. It can have serious side effects, increase the likelihood of having a fall or car accident, and reduce the quality of your sleep.  Sleep medication supplied in hospital generally should not be continued after leaving hospital.

It’s time to talk to your doctor if you: 

• have been taking sleep medication
• would consider taking less sleep medication
• would like to try a non-drug approach to help you sleep.

Non-drug treatments work for about 70% of people who try them and are far more effective in the long term than sleep medication.

Stopping sleep medication needs to be done gradually. Always talk to your doctor or pharmacist first.  Never share your medication.

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Our Story

Ross and Pat Muller

Ross:  Relationship means many things to many people and the maintenance, enhancement and longevity of any relationship requires effort from all parties, especially those in the veteran community, for many and varied reasons. 

Having joined the regular Army as a young 18 year old, I had no idea what dramatic effects this would have on my life in the years that followed.  32 years on, in my second marriage, two married daughters and five grandchildren my life was in turmoil.  After 21years of service, my memories of active service were haunting me in more ways than one.

My wife and family became aware of my daily changes; mood swings, anger and drinking soon encased me.  I thought these were normal and should be accepted by those around me. Nobody has the right to their opinion and my black and white world did not affect anybody - how wrong I was.  Throughout the hard times, Pat stood her ground and as detrimental to her health as it was, she continued her support and affections for me, as did my family. 

Jekyll and Hyde had been reborn.

Periods of separation, aggression, excessive use of alcohol and the traumatic mental abuse finally hit the wall. The results of my behaviour had finally taken those that cared about me the most to their limit.  Get Help or Else.  With the encouragement of Pat and my family, I sought help and was accepted into the ongoing care and health management at St John of God Hospital, Richmond.

From my first appointment, attendance at several Mental Health courses, both as an inpatient and day patient Pat’s support never weakened. She kept the family together by getting them to understand my mental health problems, PTSD being the major source.  The sessions at Richmond resulted in my readiness for the change process to begin and I started to accept the changes I had to make and decisions that were best for me and ultimately my wife and family.

I soon learnt that, for the relationship I had previously with Pat and my family to be reinstated, or at least maintained, certain rules had to be in place.  Acceptance of my illness and its effects on others was the key to my and the hospital’s management of PTSD. No blame or expectations, that all was OK.  Honesty and openness about my actions and the right of others to their own comments and opinions, whether I agreed or not.  I had to re-learn affection and its implications on those around me.

My being where I am today: happy and loving husband, father and grandfather, is a result of the tremendous love and support given me by those that care about me during the many years.

Pat:  When I met and married Ross, I knew he had had many life experiences because neither of us was young. I was not however aware that his experiences would have such a profound effect on our lives together. Following 21 years in the Army, during which he served in Vietnam and then 12 years with the Ambulance Service, the development of PTSD, when Ross was in his early fifties, would come as no surprise to many but it certainly did to me.

The roller coaster ride we were on and remain on can take many unexpected and challenging turns and to say that it was not what I expected is an understatement.  I did however expect some difficulties in the years ahead when we married because Ross has children from his first marriage, so I realised there would be challenges in becoming a step-mother. Little did I realise, these step-children would become my main support and mainstay when Ross exhibited major problems associated with PTSD ten years into our marriage. Our lives descended into misery and a crisis in our relationship almost ended our marriage.

Ross experienced real symptoms of major mental health problems and so did I because it is very difficult to live with this unravelling and not be affected by it.  There were times that I actually made his situation worse because I did not know what to do.  I did not accept that PTSD was a real illness until I was helped by a psychologist work colleague. He gave me the evidence I needed to accept the diagnosis and to get more perspective on the situation this illness was causing in our relationship and the importance of obtaining expert medical assistance for Ross.

Over a period of 12 months, Ross sought and found this support which required more than medical input. The team approach led by an excellent psychiatrist at St John of God Hospital, saved Ross’ life and our marriage. I was also able to access psychological support from the Veterans Counselling Service which proved invaluable.  It helped me to become stronger and to learn to understand and manage myself and my reactions to the situation.  This counselling also helped me to be able to forgive and move on from difficult situations.

Things are better (mostly) now but we both need our own space fairly often because we are strong willed with very different views of the world. In any marriage there needs to be acceptance of each other’s strengths and weaknesses and a mutual feeling of support. Because we love each other, we keep on this path but there are still moments when it becomes difficult to control my feelings and not over react when symptoms of depression re-occur. Since stabilising with his PTSD, Ross has spent many years helping others when he sees their need because he is a good man and makes many people happy including me.

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Supporting younger veterans after separation from the ADF

Introduction: Many of our MHPE volunteers are coming into contact with veterans from recent military deployments. The following article was requested from the VVCS - Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service to provide an understanding of the emerging issues which ADF members face and the assistance available. 

Given the recent commitments of the ADF to locations such as East Timor, Iraq and Afghanistan there are ever-increasing numbers of veterans who are aged in their 20s and 30s, both male and female. 

The nature of current ADF operations leads to a veteran population quite different from previous generations. For example, the length and number of deployments is quite different from that typically experienced previously. It is not uncommon for  young  veterans in their mid-20s to have had multiple deployments to a number of operational areas.

While it is a mixed, diverse group there are a number of common psychological, personal and social difficulties that many younger veterans may experience following a deployment. These include stress, anger, relationship problems, sleep difficulties, and substance abuse, in addition to service-related trauma.

Additionally, whilst personnel leaving the military may initially experience some uncertainty and a loss of confidence, most make the adjustment successfully. At other times, the problems may not go away – and for some, become worse.

Some of the reasons why making the transition can be challenging include:

The military has a unique culture, one that is very different to civilian culture. Some separating members may experience ‘culture shock’ as they try to readjust to civilian life and a civilian workplace and their community.

Some ex-military personnel report feeling isolated or ‘different’ to civilians and some find it hard to develop new friendships once they leave the military.

To many the military is more than a job, it is a ‘way of life’ involving values, priorities and beliefs about the world that often affect all aspects of a person’s life and identity.

Those leaving the military with service related problems such as chronic ill health, injury, posttraumatic stress disorder (related to operational or other trauma), anxiety disorders, chronic pain or depression may experience additional adjustment difficulties.

Some of the social issues for military personnel making the transition to civilian life include:

• Experiencing trouble readjusting to family, from whom they have spent considerable  periods of time away from. This can include parenting responsibilities.
• Feeling cut off from people or feel unable to connect with anyone.
• Finding it hard to accept the difference between civilian life and experiences in military service.
• Feeling ashamed, angry or disappointed if they left the military involuntarily.
• Experiencing a loss of role, identity or purpose.
• Finding it difficult getting a new job or challenging to adapt to a civilian job.
• Having concerns about supporting the family, possibly on a lower wage.
• Having financial problems.
• Feeling less valued or appreciated with a sense of diminished status in life.
• Finding it challenging making new friends, and coping without old friends.
• Finding civilian life chaotic due to perceived lack of structure, order, and direction.
• Not knowing what to do with free time.

Who can help?

VVCS provides counselling, group programs and case management to  support the mental and emotional well being of veterans and their families by equipping them with the knowledge and skills to manage a range of issues arising from military service and deployment. These include stress, anger, sleep, lifestyle and family matters, substance abuse and service-related trauma. To assist with personal and social issues related to transition from the ADF, VVCS  provides the 2-day Stepping Out Program.

The Department of Veterans' Affairs for assistance with  rehabilitation, retraining, compensation and other matters.

Other health professionals such as General Practitioners, psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, private hospitals and community health centres.

Ex-service Organisations, the Australian Peacekeeper & Peacemaker Veterans’ Association (APPVA) and the Partners of Veterans Association (PVA) can provide informal support and advice.

Other government and community agencies can help with parenting, financial problems, family dispute, child support, drugs and alcohol and legal issues.

To find out more about eligibility for VVCS services, where and when they are available, please contact the nearest VVCS centre on 1800 011 046. Free local call. Calls from mobile phones and pay phones may incur charges.

www.dva.gov.au/health/vvcs

Burn out describes a condition commonly experienced by people working or volunteering for the welfare of others.  It can involve both physical and emotional exhaustion.  Burn out commonly occurs when someone is caring for another person. For information on how to look after your health and wellbeing refer to our Burn out article on page 14.

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Simply Caring for Carers

Dr Graeme Killer  AO
Principal Medical Adviser 

Most of us can never really prepare ourselves for the caring journey, yet for many, caring becomes a reality.  There are no rules of caring and no two caring situations are quite the same.  The emotional swings of caring can go from a sense of great reward, to a confusing exhausting and frightening experience and challenge.  Often after a difficult day, the carer sits at the kitchen table and says, why me ?  A fact that is probably not well known is that Australia has almost 2.5 million carers and nearly 500,000 of whom are primary carers, the people who provide the most care.  Wherever we live, in a country town or suburb of a big city, there will be individuals going about the important task of caring for others.  The caring is often not a day, not a month but even many years and the caring is not just about caring for a parent or partner, it’s about looking after yourself physically and emotionally.  I have been told by some war widows they feel trapped like “sandwich carers” because they care not only for their veteran husband, but also for a grown up child with a physical disability or a mental health problem.  A common anxiety in this situation is about what will happen to their disabled son or daughter when they are no longer able to cope, or when they are gone.

Based on the number of carers alone, there is bound to be someone nearby in your suburb or town coping with a loved one’s serious illness or disability and the question remains, what you say and how might you help, in a meaningful way.  Carers often don’t know where to turn and feel overwhelmed and yet physical and emotional support to help share the burden may well be nearby.  Often individuals feel uncomfortable about providing help for fear of intrusion, yet your offer of support might save a carer.  Tangible support could be something simple like being a good listener, or could extend to helping with domestic chores, minding the kids so they can have time out, or even mowing the lawn or taking care of the garden.  A little help can go a long way.

A whole range of programs, in terms of carer support, are available to eligible veterans and war widows through the Department of Veterans’ Affairs (DVA).  These programs include:

• Veterans’ Home Care
• Respite Care
• Convalescent Care
• Community Nursing
• Rehabilitation Appliances Program (RAP)

Also, access and mobility may need to be considered as carer requirements increase e.g. housing on a single level and wide entrances for hallways and rooms. 

Advice in relation to any of the DVA programs mentioned above can be obtained by ringing DVA on 133 254 (metro) or 1800 555 254 (country).

As a final comment, men can be carers too of course and in some ways the learning process to be a carer can be a little more challenging and take a little longer.  Male carers have their own health issues which can add to the demands associated with the caring role and equally in men or women there can be issues of loneliness, social isolation and depression.  Always talk to your doctor.  Each State has a Carer Association that provides a carer advisory line and a carer counselling program.  You can contact the Carer Association by phoning 1800 242 636.

Where do I go for further information?  Refer to Spiders’ Web and Bookworms page 24 for a list of carer services and publications.

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Time for a Relationship Tune-Up?

Anne Hollonds
Psychologist and CEO Relationships Australia

Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. A relationship in crisis, for example, is something that requires urgent action. Sitting back and waiting for cracks to mend themselves is in fact, a recipe for disaster. 

Why are we so reluctant to do something when our relationships are going pear-shaped? We take our car to the mechanic, our dog to the vet, our bodies to the gym or personal trainer. We’ll go on a weight loss program if we’re overweight and see a specialist if we put our back out. But if our relationship is out of whack there seems to be some kind of notional barrier.

Perhaps we believe asking for help is an admission of failure or something lacking in ourselves. Perhaps we came from families in which relationship issues were never discussed and we have no language to describe what is happening, nor the skills to resolve the conflict.

Experience tells us that cracks in relationships caused by unresolved tension and conflict develop into deep wounds. Left untended, these wounds begin to control our behaviour. Acting from resentment and hurt feelings, we push our partners further away until one day, our relationship is at breaking point, and we can’t even remember what started it all.

The good news is, no-one has to wait that long to take action and help is easier to access than you might think. Many people seek counselling to explore the interactions between partners and family members that create tension and conflict. Relationship counselling supports people to tap into their own resources to generate solutions, improve mutual understanding and enhance respect.

Taking your relationship in for a tune-up can be as routine as taking your car in for a service. If you would like to see what counselling might offer your relationship please contact Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. Counselling services are available across Australia.

Relationships Australia have a range of resources available covering topics such as: Men and Separation – Navigating the Future; Partners – A Guide to Successful Relationships and a wide range of information/advice factsheets which you can access from their website: www.relationships.com.au

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Looking after your Health and Wellbeing – Burnout

Are you at risk of burnout?

Burnout describes a condition commonly experienced by people working or volunteering for the welfare of others.  It can involve both physical and emotional exhaustion.

Taking on too much, too intensely, for too long accelerates burnout

Symptoms of burnout

People at risk of burnout may have a number of symptoms including low energy and disturbed sleep.  They may also be more vulnerable to diseases or find it difficult to throw off minor illnesses such as colds.

One or more of the following symptoms may be a warning that you are at risk of becoming burnt out:

• Feeling overwhelmed / put upon;
• Busy but not productive;
• Feeling over anxious;
• Lack of enthusiasm;
• Inability to focus;
• Trouble sleeping
• Low energy; and/or
• Short tempered

Actions to avoid burnout. 

Some ideas to help you reduce your risk of burnout are to:

• Meditate
• Be assertive, ask for help, take time off;
• Acquire extra skills;
• Set achievable goals;
• Learn how to set limits;
• Do things that are relaxing;
• Do things that give energy;
• Get regular exercise;
• Be realistic in your commitments;
• Regulate your diet, sleep and exercise;
• Be part of a mutual support group;
• Celebrate the wins, learn from the losses;
• Make sure your holidays are holidays;
• Use colleagues to debrief; or
• Balance your time – work, social and time alone

Tips for MHPE volunteers

• Develop your local and global networks for information, mentors and support people;
• Liaise with existing resource people such as:
• Other MHPE volunteers or your MHPE representative;
• Ex-service pension and welfare officers
• DVA staff and your MHPE state coordinator; and
• Local health service providers.  There may be a men’s health service in your areas.

Relationships, Caring and Family responsibilities can sometimes make us feel that we’re doing too much and we don’t know how to cope.   It’s important to take time-out and learn how you can manage your situation.

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MensLine Australia: supporting men through the toughest times

MensLine Australia is a national telephone information, support and referral service for men, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The confidential service supports more than 55,000 callers every year with men from all corners of the country calling the service every day for professional support for a range of relationship issues. 

MensLine Australia's qualified counsellors are there to provide a listening ear and practical support at the toughest times of men’s lives, helping men work through a range of issues including conflict with their partner, parenting, separation and family breakdown, work/life balance and depression.

Without support at these times men often find their situation even harder to deal with. A sense of isolation can often lead to greater distress and at times even suicidal thoughts.

Some men feel they need more than a single call. Therefore, MensLine Australia also offers a free call back service. This unique service offers clients up to six calls backs from the same counsellor over a period of up to six months. This service can also provide short term anger management counselling while clients are looking for other support services around anger issues.

MensLine Australia counsellors know through experience that many men often don't see the problems in their relationship until it is too late. These men wish they had done maintenance work beforehand which could have helped save their relationship. In response, MensLine Australia recently published two resource booklets, "Renovate Your Relationships" and "Men and Separation." 

"Renovate Your Relationships" has been specifically written for men and aims to support them to improve their personal relationships.  This 24 page manual provides men with a set of practical skills and tools to renovate their most important relationship. It can be ordered for a small fee. "Men and Separation" is a free resource that has been specifically developed to support men going through separation, or people supporting a man who is experiencing separation. 

Most men seek to find practical solutions to their problems and expert information about relationships can be really helpful. A variety of free written resources, including a wide range of tip-sheets, are available from the MensLine Australia website. Our tip sheets provide men with access to simple, practical tips for managing many common and difficult issues including: Managing Conflict, Dealing with Anger and Parenting for Separated Dads. To download your free copies simply visit www.menslineaus.org.au 

For immediate support, anywhere, anytime, call MENSLINE AUSTRALIA on 1300 78 99 78 (Cost of a local call.  Calls may be higher from mobiles)

To order resources such as brochures, business cards and posters contact us at talkitover@menslineaus.org.au or call (03) 8371 2800

For further information on the publication Renovate your Relationship: A Manual for Men, go to page 18 and learn about Tool 1: “Working  Together”.

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Problem pastimes

Dr Warren K Harrex, Senior Medical Adviser

I have always enjoyed the story of the party for the couple celebrating their 60^th wedding anniversary. Eventually the wife suggested to her husband that he say a few words. He rose unsteadily to his feet and commenced his speech. “My wife and I have been happily married for 50 years..” His wife nudged him with her elbow and interrupted, “George, we have been married 60 years.” George just smiled and continued, “As I was saying,…”

Even the best of relationships have periods of strain, particularly when there are changes in the family, living arrangements, work responsibilities, illness, accidents or death. Even positive changes such as births and marriages can create stresses and strains in relationships and require readjustment by individuals to the changed circumstances. It has always been remarkable to me to note the depth and resilience of individuals particularly to adverse events such as illness and injury. Often such circumstances reveal the inner strength of individuals and can increase the bonding within relationships.

The modern understanding of health is a biopsychosocial model, where the response to illness or injury does not only depend on the biomedical changes, but is significantly influenced by psychological perspectives and social circumstances as well. Experienced medical practitioners look for these psychosocial factors when assessing and managing chronic illness and injury, as these can positively or negatively influence the perceptions, prognosis and coping abilities.

There are a number of pastimes which, if allowed to get out of control,  can adversely affect aspects of physical and mental health, lifestyle and work. If the enjoyment of such pastimes are allowed to dominate or excessively influence decision making and cause problems, they are called addictions. Gambling, excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs and even work are common addictions adversely affecting health.  In my experience, whenever health, work or behaviour problems are evident, the relationships surrounding the affected individual are in tatters. The earliest manifestations of these addictions are invariably in relationships.

I was fortunate to have worked in a multidisciplinary addiction centre many years ago and learnt some useful principles and strategies in helping rehabilitate affected individuals and families.  These are not taught in medical school, which is why some doctors avoid dealing with psychosocial aspects of disease.   All individuals in shattered relationships need to understand their first priority is to care for themselves. One needs to look after oneself before one can look after a spouse or family. This is not selfishness. That occurs if only one’s own needs are considered. Secondly, no one can make anyone else do anything they do not want to. Threats are used commonly in dysfunctional relationships and this is proof that threats do not work.

Individuals can learn that they can choose their behaviours and actually have control over their lives and therefore can learn to take control of their addictions. Individuals can learn they can choose how to respond to provocation. The tendency to instinctively react with angry can be unlearnt and can be brought under control. The first step is to learn to recognise one’s emotions, take ownership of them and learn to express them in a way that allows other individuals their choice on how to respond.  When we hear how hurt another individual is feeling in our important relationships, we usually change our perspective from a blame game towards more caring and constructive behaviours.

There are many resources available for those individuals and families having relationship difficulties.  If one’s relationships are worsening, then this is a warning that one’s usual coping behaviours are not effective and new skills need to be learned. Asking for professional assistance is the first step in reversing impaired relationships.

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Bob’s Caring Life

Bob Kelly

How did you become a carer?

My caring role came not by choice but as a natural progression.  I had been living at home after a career in the RAAF and took on the full responsibility of caring for both parents as their ability to manage independently diminished.  Other family members were all working full time and I was already in the house so it was logical for me to take on the role.

How many years have you been a carer?

I have been a carer for nine years.  My mother had a stroke three and a half years ago and was placed in a Nursing Home and she never recovered enough to be able to return home.  She was visited every day by a family member, mostly myself and Dad until her death in February this year.  My father now has dementia and I care for him at home.

How do you deal with the challenges of being a carer?

I have found my Dad’s behaviour has changed such a lot as a result of the dementia and it’s almost impossible to maintain our father-son relationship.  The normal tasks of daily life cause a lot of frustration and anxiety to us both.  Meal time, showering, dressing and getting to appointments, parking the car and entering buildings all present challenges that I would never have thought about until I became a carer.

The most difficult part of being a carer is the isolation.  Not being able to spontaneously go out and meet old friends and acquaintances means I have lost contact with people and so sometimes I feel very isolated.  I try to get away for a couple of weeks each year but it takes a lot of organising as it must involve other family members who also need to make their own personal arrangements.  

Do you have other interests away from your caring role?

Yes, I do have other interests and get time away but again it has to be planned well in advance so that other family members can take over.  I am currently a Men’s Health Peer Education Volunteer and enjoy the training and update days where I get to spend time with other veterans and be part of a group.  I am also a reservist with 24 Squadron and act as their OH&S Officer.  My other time away from caring is spent as a Level 2 sports trainer with Sports Medicine Australia (SA Branch).  I act as a trainer for a variety of sports and really enjoy the energy of sport and competition.

Despite the challenges I know my Dad is receiving the best care we as a family can provide.

Respite care means the carer and the person being cared for take a break from the caring situation.  Respite comes in many forms including day respite, in-home or residential.  For further information on respite care obtain a copy of the DVA Carer’s booklet – see Spiders’ Webs and Bookworms page 24 or contact your state Carer Association Ph: 1800 242 636

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Renovate Your Relationship

A Manual For Men                                          

In the Toolbox:

• Working Together
• Avoiding Misunderstandings
• Sharpen up your listening
• Resolving Conflict
• When the roof blows off! Anger and Frustration.
• Who has the Power? Abuse and Violence
• Self-maintenance
• Renovate your sex life
• Love
• Valuing Difference
• Appreciation
• When trust breaks down 

Tool 1: Working together?

A reality check 

A renovation project is easier with a mate to work with.

A mate who is working with you, one you know, trust and like.

 You might think you know everything there is to know about yourself and your partner, but have you really thought about it? Do you still have the same hopes, dreams and values?

Here is a set of questions. Write down your answers then ask your partner to do the same. Make a date with each other to share your answers.

Tell each other what you’ve both come up with. It’s a good idea to listen without any interruption or debate. Just take in what your partner says, or agree to share your notes.

How do the answers affect your renovation project?

‘I was unsure about doing this exercise but apart from a couple of points of difference, it was reassuring to realise that we both still care about the same things after all this time.’

Anton, 39

My thoughts about me:

My life works best when...

My relationship works best when...

• 2 most important things in my life
• 2 things I hate doing
• 2 beliefs/values I like in me
• 2 ways I behave that I like about myself
• 2 aspects of me that I value in my relationship
• 2 aspects of me that I would like to change

My thoughts about my partner:

• 2 most important things in my partner’s life
• 2 things your partner hates doing
• 2 beliefs/values I like in my partner
• 2 ways my partner behaves that I like
• 2 things about my partner that I value in my relationship
• 2 things about my partner that I would like her to work on

To obtain a copy of Renovate Your Relationship:

Ph: (03) 8371 2800

Web: http://www.menslineaus.org.au/uploads/Renovate-your-relationships-web.pdf

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Veterans’ Health Week QLD

Mary Andrew, QLD MHPE Coordinator

MHPE volunteers from Cairns to the Gold Coast got involved and/or co-ordinated a number of varied VHW activities promoting the theme of Nutrition.  Volunteers availed of the VHW opportunity to promote the MHPE program and their Volunteer role. Examples of activities included:

Morning walks along the beach / esplanade (if this is Winter it must be Qld!!) followed by healthy BBQ breakfasts

Ready/steady/cook (a number of budding chefs competing against each other in a BBQ cook off)

Golf days – followed by a healthy lunch

Various presentations / food tastings by Nutritionists / Dieticians or chefs from the local RSL Services Clubs

A range of static displays – including quizs or competitions testing participants level of knowledge on nutrition

Presentations by MHPE Volunteers on men’s health topics

A big thank you to all volunteers involved: Fred Huntley; Ian Andrews; Peter Harvey; Peter Higgins; Peter Lawrence; Paul Meehan; Bob McInnes; John Macartney; John Pratt and Peter Turner

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Veterans’ Health Week – NSW & ACT

Debra Harslett, NSW & ACT MHPE Coordinator

The theme for Veterans’ Health week was nutrition and a number of the networks undertook specific Veterans’ Health Week events:

Macarthur volunteer network, in partnership with Sydney VAN, incorporated the skills-training component of their recall day with an information day and healthy BBQ luncheon at Campbelltown Dredges Cottage that also included a ‘healthy eating’ presentation by dietician Nicole Hatem.

The Western Sydney network partnered with Parramatta VAN to stage a Nutrition Expo and BBQ ‘Mystery Bag’ Cookoff . Over 180 people were in attendance at Fox Hills Golf Club on 23 July. The MHPE stall proved very popular as veterans and their partners had to guess the amount of sugar in various non-healthy items and were rewarded with a piece of fruit.

During Veterans’ Health Week, Bob Crisp, from the Coffs Harbour/New England network, attended the Nambucca Heads RSL Day Club to talk about nutrition and demonstrate the use of the “Cooking for One or Two” Cook book.

The South Lake Macquarie RSL Sub-branch Morisset in conjunction with MHPE volunteers conducted a ‘Nutrition and Garden’ event at the Yunung Community Garden Morriset on 21 July. About 20 members of the veteran community enjoyed lunch and a talk about the garden.

The Mid North Coast network held a health information day at Laurieton United Services Club on 21 July. About 70 people attended an event which included a talk from Leesa Roach, a dietician from the North Coast Area Health Service, James Smith, from the local Division of General Practice speaking about how to talk to your doctor and Jackie McGeorge from the Macular Degeneration Foundation discussing eating for eye health.

Veterans’ Health Week activities were strongly supported on the Far North Coast with good turn outs from Veteran and Ex Service Organisations. The “Hook, Line and Sinker” Fishing Competition at Faulks Reserve West Ballina. After the weigh in, sample bags were distributed followed by a nutritious lunch of fish and salad, well prepared by the Australian Peacekeeper and Peacemaker Veterans Association.

On Tuesday 20 July a Street Stall was erected in the Lismore CBD by soldiers of the local 41^st Battalion & was officially opened by the Mayor of Lismore, Ms Jenny Dowell. The stall was manned by MPHE, members of various ESO’s & DVA staff. Exercise routines were conducted by local Veteran gym groups, health assessments were conducted, distribution of various health pamphlets & health sample bags containing nutrition advice & apples. A “Cob oven” construction & use demonstration was conducted by local veteran Barry Hart who gave away garlic bread cooked earlier that morning. This was followed by a nutritious lunch at the Lismore Workers Club.

Wednesday 21^st July saw the premier event of VHW, the climb up Mt Warning in the Tweed Valley. Cool, clear weather made for a pleasant but somewhat strenuous walk to the summit where the magnificent views made it well worthwhile. A nutritious lunch followed at the Sphinx Rock Café at Mt Burrell.

The Vietnam Veterans’ Peacekeepers and Peacemakers Association of Australia Gosford City Sub-branch, in conjunction with DVA and partners of veterans, conducted a walk along the Ettalong Beach foreshore, provided a vegetarian lunch and received showbags.

Veteran’s Health Week was held in the Nambucca Valley on the 24 July, 2010 with a fishing day “catch and cook” theme and on the 27 July,  MHPE volunteer Bob Crisp gave a presentation to the RSL Day Club regarding nutrition and provided the members with a healthy lunch.

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Book Review

Men’s Health and Wellbeing, an a-z Guide
Robert Peck, The Apothecary

A famous Australian dancer was once asked if he thought nude ballet would catch on. Apparently after some thought, he commented that he didn’t think so, as there were certain bits of the anatomy which wouldn’t stop when the music did. 

Now you don’t have to go to the ballet to notice that men and women are different and the differences are not always physical.

Men in particular, experience significantly higher rates of suicide, addiction, violence, mental illness, motor vehicle accidents (a motor vehicle accident rate which is 170% higher than the female accident rate) and premature death. Indigenous men, gay men, men in rural and isolated locations, men with disabilities, men affected by poverty and war veterans, are all at high risk of poor health and have difficulty in accessing services.

So what’s wrong with men and how can they help themselves? How can others help and what should they do?

Well, help is now at hand in the form of a new book called Mens’ Health and Wellbeing – an A - Z Guide. Written by Greg Millan, one of Australia’s leading experts on men’s health and wellbeing issues. Greg is a health educator with 28 years experience, He has had wide experience working in government and non-government organisations and is Vice-President of the Australasian Men’s Health Forum as well as having close involvement with similar men’s health organisations internationally.

Greg Millan’s 234 page paperback is the first comprehensive Australian book to address men’s health in the context of men’s lives: their physical, emotional, social, psychological, spiritual  and cultural environments. Not only is the book primarily for men (and boys) but is also a key reference book for anyone who works in the health, welfare or community sector. It could be considered essential reading and of significant benefit for any man by providing simple, practical information regardless of age or lifestyle, whether single, partnered, separated, widowered, a father, a grandfather or a son.

Many men of veteran’s age were raised in an era of an old culture of masculinity when men believed that if you’ve got a problem and you’re a man, don’t ask for help, get over it. For many men, admitting an illness or health concern, can be the same as admitting weakness.

Traditionally, men have had a desire to prove and test themselves against others and this has resulted in a desire to indulge in high-risk behaviour, the avoidance of appearing weak, a belief that their health is not as important as that of women and children and a reluctance to seek and accept health advice and treatment for preventable conditions.

Women are more familiar with the health and welfare system than men are. Men can lack basic information on health issues that affect them and our community and the Department needs to work hard to make our health, welfare and community services more male-friendly, easily understood and accessible. Men find it hard to get the right information and make the right changes to improve, monitor and maintain their health.

Greg Millan’s book aims to address this need by providing information on male-specific health and wellbeing concerns. Men’s health and wellbeing matters. With the right information and knowledge, as well as the ability to make a few simple changes, men can improve and maintain good health and can lead longer, more enriched lives.

The layout of the book facilitates access to information. The first part recommends health checks at various ages. The majority of the book lists topics of interest to men in alphabetical order. At the end of each topic is a ‘Resource Box’ which points the reader to more information. Much of this information is available on the internet which enables the reader to get the most up to date advice and guidance.

This is a very practical, easy to read and informative book. Think about it when scratching your head trying to think of something for the men of any age, in your family.

Available from Longueville Books: www.longmedia.com.au $34.95 rrp

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Motor Car Quiz (June 2010 issue) - Correction

Identify the motor car types from the clues below.

• 9 - The capital of Texas
• 11 - A wanderer
• 12 - A kind of feline

Answers:  9 Austin; 11 Nomad; 12 Jaguar.

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Spiders’ Webs and Bookworms

 Men’s sexual and relationship survey

Men aged 18-65 who are currently involved in a heterosexual relationship are invited to take part in an anonymous online study exploring men in relationships.  The aim of the study is to provide a better understanding of the factors which lead to sexual dysfunction so as to provide more appropriate treatment.  Readers are encouraged to go on-line and complete the survey.

http://www.deakin.edu.au/psychology/research/cc/

Families then and now 1980-2010 – factsheet available

The Australian Institute of Family Studies, is an Australian Government Statutory Authority whose role is to conduct research and communicate findings that affect family well-being to policy makers, service providers and the broader community.  To mark 30 years of research, the AIFS has released the factsheet “Families then and now 1980-2010.”  The factsheet highlights relationship and family trends over the last 30 years.  To obtain a copy of the factsheet go to the AIFS website.

http://www.aifs.gov.au/

emale

Emale is a free national ebulletin for people who are interested in improving men’s health and wellbeing.  Emale provides: information on the men’s health and wellbeing area; features on current issues for men; information on upcoming activities and events; new resources and websites and updates on government policy changes - both here and abroad.  You can register to receive this monthly enewsletter by email by going to the website.

www.menshealthservices.com.au

Carers Australia

Carers Australia and the network of carers associations in each state and territory's purpose is to improve the lives of carers. They provide important services like counselling, advice, advocacy, education and training. They also promote the recognition of carers to governments, businesses and the wider public.  For information on the carer services in your state or territory call the number below or go to the Carers Australia website.  Ph: 1800 242 636

http://www.carersaustralia.com.au/

Grandparents Support Groups

supporting grandparents who are caring for grandchildren.

Many grandparents are taking on the responsibility for raising their grandchildren.  Some of the reasons why this is occurring are: both parents are working full-time; an increase in single-parent families or their own children are unable to care for their own offspring due to substance abuse.  For many grandparents who are taking on this caring role, being part of a support group can provides the opportunity to discuss the challenges and concerns they experience.   To locate a Grandparent Support Group go to the seniors website. www.seniors.gov.au  Click on the section “Your Lifestyle”, then select “Community Services”.  Grandparents Support Groups will be listed as a service.  Select Grandparent Support Groups and further links will be displayed for each state and territory.

DVA carer webpage

DVA has a dedicated carer webpage.  At the carer’s webpage you will find information on:

• DVA services provided to carers
• DVA carer publications (see below for further information)
• Organisations which can assist carers with information, advice and services

http://www.dva.gov.au/health_and_wellbeing/Pages/caring.aspx

DVA publications to assist carers

There are a range of DVA publications available to assist carers:

• Carers booklet
• Living with Dementia
• Back to Basics
• Planning Ahead: A guide to putting your affairs in order

To order a copy of the above publications, go to www.dva.gov.au/aboutDVA/publications/health/Pages/index/aspx or call your nearest Veterans’ Affairs Network office on 1300 55 1918.

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Generation Family Tree Quiz

            

1. Born 1925-1945.  Too young to join the service during WWII.  Many had fathers who served in WWI.  They are the children of the Great Depression and known as “The War Babies”.   During their generation, unemployment meant hunger, you worked for life in a job and your outlook on life was conservative and security conscious. 
2. Born following WWII from 1946 to 1961/64.   The high birth rate during this period was referred to as the “demographic bulge”.  They grew up in a time of privilege and affluence and are the product of a prosperous society.  They’re unlikely to retire at “65” and challenged traditional values.  
3. Born 1961-1980.  Influenced by MTV and AIDS.   They achieved higher education than their parents.  Not inclined to commitment with many marrying later in their 30s.  They often had both parents working, were exposed to daycare and divorce and became known as “latchkey kids”.  They’re not interested in long-term careers or corporate loyalty. 
4. Born 1981-1997.    Known as the Millennial Generation, SMS is their language of choice.   They tend to earn lots of money and like to stay at home so they can spend their money on whatever they want.  Owning their own home is a dream.  This generation has been marked by an increased use of and familiarity with communications, media and digital technologies. 
5. Born 1998-2010.  Generation I or also known as “Digital Natives”. Likely to sleep with their iPhone or iPad.  The best generation for programming your DVD, TiVo and Skype . They have a very broad definition of family.  Many come from single parent or blended families.  
6. Born 2010 onwards.  This generation will begin school earlier than other generations and will study for longer.  They will be more materialistic and technology focused. They will be the children of older and wealthier parents with fewer siblings. 
7. Usually, but not always, they are a segment of the middle aged population that simultaneously provides support to both young and older family members and usually receives no support in return.   Known as multigenerational caregivers. 

Answers

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Introducing our MHPE National Indigenous Volunteer Representative

Marsat ‘Jimi.K.’ Ketchell

I’m a Torres Strait Islander from Thursday Island. I enlisted as a Junior Recruit at HMAS Leeuwin in 1970. I had 26 years service in the Royal Australian Navy travelling extensively throughout the world and Australia.  I was the first Indigenous Careers Advisor for Defence Forces Recruiting Branch based in Canberra where I got to be involved with the Indigenous Sector and workforce implementation departments of the Federal Government.  I also got to be involved with Communities from Broome to Mackay and from Thursday Island and Cape York down to Adelaide and Melbourne promoting Careers in the Defence Forces.

Since discharging from the Defence Forces in 1996, I commenced a career in Mental Health and Social and Emotional Wellbeing with an aim to give back to the community, the support they had given me throughout my Naval career.  I am a graduate of Charles Sturt University’s Djurawang Program with a BHSc in Mental Health.  I selected Mental Health because there is so much trauma and spiritual hurt out there with our people in Aboriginal, Torres Strait, and South Sea Islanders.  Our Indigenous Defence Force Servicemen and Women and Veterans including their families, who need to come home one day and be made welcome by all Australians.

I have a wide network of support services statewide and nationally in mental health and social and emotional wellbeing which I am confident I could incorporate into Mens Health Peer Education.  I also work in the health sector proper so physical health especially chronic diseases and diabetes are common denominators in Indigenous Health across the Nation. 

My work in the Torres Strait has every day contact with local Veterans socially and professionally and I am in touch as required with North Queensland and Statewide MHPE representatives.  I look forward to the challenge of being the National Representative and I am hoping to make some headway for my brothers and sisters in arm.  My next project will be to get a working party together and coordinate our local Recognition of Indigenous Veterans ceremony here on Thursday Island.

I’m a family man orientated to extended family and committed to my work and communities.  I actively participate in sport, sport and more sport.  Currently a National competitor in Touch Football representing Nth Queensland Cyclones.  I like maintaining some fitness to keep healthy and set an example and encourage my age group and be a role model for our younger generations.  Sport breaks down many barriers within the wider community. 

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Volunteer Rep’s Corner

Introducing John Macartney.  MHPE North QLD Volunteer Representative

I am very humbled to have been given the opportunity to take on the challenging role as the new Nth Qld MHPE Volunteers’ Representative.  This includes coverage of the Wide Bay & Central regions plus North & Far Nth Qld MHPE regions.  I’d like to thank Peter Turner for the time, effort and energy he put into this role during his two years.  Peter will remain as an active MHPE volunteer so his valuable resource is still available to us.

I spent twelve years in the Royal Australian Navy with operational service in Malaya and Vietnam and though I was a sailor I had some involvement with the other services.  I was given an Australian Army uniform and did a three week Battle Efficiency course at Canungra before spending twelve months in Vietnam as a member of the RANHFV – this was a Navy unit integrated into the US Army’s 135^th Assault Helicopter Company.  I also have strong links with the RAAF’s 9 and 5 Squadrons.

On a personal note I married Sue 45 years ago in April next year and we have four daughters, hence the premature ageing, and a whole bunch of grandkids.  We live at Apple Tree Creek (just north of Childers) and I’m also a volunteer advocate and welfare officer with the Bundaberg and District Sub-Branch of the Vietnam Veterans Association of Australia.

I joined the MHPE program in 2007, and have enjoyed the role of encouraging my mates to be more pro-active in taking responsibility for their health outcomes.  I’ve also liaised with my fellow Volunteers in the Wide Bay area to participate in various  Health Expos  and displays.  My networks in the region include GP Links; Government & provider organisations; Men’s Sheds and local support groups.

I look forward to continuing this work in addition to supporting the MHPE Volunteers as part of my new representative role.

Thanks and welcome from DVA Qld MHPE Co-ordinator Mary Andrew

On behalf of all MHPE Volunteers in Nth/Far Nth and Central / Wide Bay regions, I’d like to thank Peter Turner for his contribution to the program as their Volunteer Representative for the past two years.

Welcome, and thanks also, to John for accepting the role as of 1 July 2010

Introducing Trevor Daly.  MHPE VIC Volunteer Representative

Hi everyone,

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to you. My name is Trevor Daly.  I have been married to my wife Val for 47 years and I have 2 sons and 5 grandchildren.

During my working career I helped people from all walks of life as an Ambulance Officer Station Officer Grade 2 (1963-1977) for 23 years and as a Funeral consultant for 19 ½ years.  For the past 26 years I have been a member of the Preston/Darebin RSL and have been involved as Assistant Secretary and Secretary.

Over the past few years I have attended the DVA Veteran Community Forum at Heidelberg.  I became involved with MHPE program in 2009 and have attended information session and recall days.  I’m looking forward to my role as the Victorian MHPE Volunteer Representative for the next two years and I will be working very closely with Rebecca Chumbley coordinator MHPE and her support team Bill Hector and Catherine Williams.

It would be remiss of me if I did not thank our outgoing representative Ray Barling for his work with the MHPE over the last two years.  I would like to take this opportunity to thank Rebecca for having faith in me to do this job.  I’m looking forward to meeting you all at recall days plus I will be communicating with you all over the course of my term.  I’m also looking forward to meeting the other state volunteer representatives at the National MHPE Workshop in November.

If you have any ideas or suggestions for the MHPE program please let me know and I will take them up with Rebecca.

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State round up:  NSW and ACT

Debra Harslett, NSW & ACT MHPE Coordinator

With the arrival of August we are in the grip of winter, but its not too cold for us all to be involved with some very exciting Mens’ Health Peer Education (MHPE) and Veterans’ Health Week (VHW) events.

Here are some both special and more routine events that have been organised  in conjunction with volunteers throughout the region:

Recall training has been delivered to networks in 3 areas – Coffs Harbour/New England; Western Sydney, and; Macarthur. The Western Sydney MHPE volunteers attended Recall Training at Castle Hill RSL, engaging with the process and the presentation by dietician and nutritionist Nicol Hatem.

Initial training has been delivered to a new group in the Shoalhaven.  This is an area that does not have many network connections and this work should help establish one in the region. Eight volunteers participated in the training.

The Coffs Harbour/New England group attended a Submariner’s reunion in June. The group handed out show bags and provided health information to the attendees. In July, 2 volunteers manned a stall at the Men’s Health Expo at South Grafton.

Peter Huber, State Volunteer Representative, attended 3 recall days throughout the quarter. He also attended the Newcastle Home Show on 23/7/10. He spoke to exhibitors, gave away promotional material and gave 7 one-on-one ‘semi’ presentations. He also got some good ideas for future presenters for the MHPE program.

Ross Muller attended 1 recall day and the initial training at Nowra for the Shoalhaven group. Ross is away at the moment and unable to give us a full update.

MHPE volunteer Gerry Bailey was featured in an article in the Newcastle Herald on 26 July. Gerry, a Vietnam Veteran, reflects on his own health issues and how volunteering has helped him deal with those issues.

Men’s Health Strikes GOLD in the Shoalhaven

Eva Lopez, Senior Client Contact Officer, Wollongong VAN.

Hi, I’m Eva Lopez the Senior Client Contact Officer in Wollongong VAN and in early July we saw a group of lively characters get together in Bomaderry on the South Coast of NSW to learn the art of becoming a Volunteer for Men’s Health Peer Education.

This is the first group to be established in the region, myself and the staff at Wollongong VAN are very excited!

Over the course of three days the group actively participated in discussions on all the core topics such as Prostate Cancer, Mental Health even Relationships and Communication.  Some of them had never had any experience with public speaking, yet when it came time to do their mini presentations I found them all to be natural speakers. They were entertaining, informative and all successfully managed to capture and maintain our attention.  

I would like to introduce to you the newbie’s: Kevin Camm who is an active member of the Waratah Day Club and in my opinion is a man who can not only talk the talk – but walk the walk. A real straight shooter.

Richard “Dick” Martin so loves his fishing that he’s the President of the South Coast Fishing Club.  His pet peeve: when people making presentations continuously say “You know”.

Ernie Payne is a passionate coin collector who knows what all the dots and markings on a coin means!! He also has a heart of gold.

Gary Tearle has the patience of a saint having been a high school teacher for many years.  With a couple of hundred bucks in his pocket he bought a car from a backpacker in WA and headed, solo, towards the Northern Territory on a month’s adventure.  What became of the car you ask? He sold it to a tourist for the same price he bought it for!! I know who to take with me next time I need to buy a car.

Fred Curbishley is originally from King Island.  Some of you may instinctively think “Mmmm King Island cheeses and cream” but as Fred informed us during his presentation, King Island has been the location of over 60 known Shipwrecks with over 700 lives lost.  I would say Fred is the quieter one of our group, but he does love a good laugh!!

Stuart Harding is the IT guru of the group.  His knowledge on all things technical is astounding.  According to Stuart, the first mobile phone was seen in a Star Trek episode! Stuart also has an abundance of patience subjecting himself to teenagers and their cheery morning dispositions by volunteering at a local high school Breakfast Club.

Kevin Lightowlers is the “Wild One” of the group.  A member of the Vietnam Veterans’ Motorcycle Club, Kevin wears his leathers with Pride and has a keen interest in music.

The youngest member of the group is Charles “Chaz” Peck.  He’s a mad camper, loves 4WDing and doesn’t mind dropping the line into the Shoalhaven River every now and then.  Chaz has also spent some time delving into his family tree. Were there any skeletons in his family closet …. That dear readers is a family secret that shall remain!!

All Jokes aside – I am very proud of our group, who I know will make a great contribution to the Shoalhaven area and to the greater MHPE team.  As us Spaniards like to say “Bien Venidos” …. Translating to WELCOME !!

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State round up: VIC

Rebecca Chumbley, VIC MHPE Coordinator and Bill Hector

As Victoria rolls into its wettest winter in many years, Bill & I have been out and about running men’s health information sessions for veterans and their partners all across Melbourne.

We kicked off winter with” It’s never too late” an initiative to raise awareness amongst the male veteran community about the importance of good nutrition, exercise and good mental health. Guest speakers from Bicycle Victoria, Nutrition Melbourne, VVCS, Sleepwise, Hobsons Bay Community Health and SleepServices Australia were all well received.

A couple of comments on the evaluation said: “Interesting and helpful the best in 40 years” ; “Most beneficial day in awhile” and “Pleasing to see DVA putting more programs together for Vietnam Veterans”.

Men’s Health Week occurred June 14 – 20. Events were organised in Melbourne and across the State in conjunction with the VAN offices.

Mick Mihaly, VAN Manger at Morwell organised a successful Pit stop for the Latrobe Region, the Men’s Health Peer Education program was well represented and we are hopeful that a few volunteers will come onboard the program in the future.

I would also like to thank Ray Barling for the terrific job he has done for the Men’s Health Peer Education program. Ray’s term as Volunteer Representative recently finished and Trevor Daly has been  appointed. Trevor has been the Secretary of an RSL sub-Branch and an active MHPE volunteer and brings a wealth of new ideas to the role to promote the program

Ray will continue to be an active volunteer and is always available to assist those of you in the Gippsland Region.

We hope all is well in your world!

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State round up: SA

Margie Gutteridge, SA MHPE Coordinator and VAN Manager

Planning for 2010 Veterans’ Health Week got underway early in South Australia with the MHPE Training / Recall program held at DVA state office, Blackburn House, Adelaide on 24-25 March.

A committed and enthusiastic group of MHPE volunteers got together for the two days.

Margie Gutteridge (MHPE State Coordinator and VAN Manager) and Karen Abel (Community Support Adviser) facilitated training, brainstorming activities and small group workshop sessions on “How to plan events and activities in your community” and “Preparing promotional flyers”.

Ana Teleki, from the VAN SA team was brought in to share her experiences as Project Coordinator of the 2009 VHW Expo and this gave everyone lots of ideas, helpful hints, checklists and reference information.

By the end of the two days, an enthusiastic group of MHPE volunteers had discussed, planned, and even put coloured pen to paper to draw up sample event flyers.  Ideas were shared amongst the group and MHPE volunteers committed to being involved in various ways:

• Planning and conducting events in regional areas
• Participating in the VHW Working Party
• Volunteering at the VHW Expo held at the Torrens Parade Ground
• “Manning” the MHPE stall at the VHW Expo
• Participating in the Expo event Cook-Off
• Cooking a Healthy BBQ
• MHPE State Representative, Ron Boyce was on hand to coordinate volunteer support for the Expo 

Leading into the major event, the “Eat Well, Live Well” Expo, MHPE volunteers were actively involved in the VHW Working Party.  Great ideas came from the 14 members who were represented by DVA staff, MHPE volunteers, ESO and community groups.  The Working Party met fortnightly from early April.  One of the many tasks we got involved in (and five hours of our lives we’ll never get back!), was folding and stuffing approximately 5,000 VHW Promotional Flyers into envelopes.  A great time was had by all as we undertook this task as you can see from the photo below.

The “Eat Well, Live Well Expo” was held in Adelaide on Tuesday 20^th July.  TV Personality Michael Keelan and MC for the Expo, along with Celebrity Chef and Radio Commentator, Pam Tobin, MHPE volunteers – Leo Macpanas, Gareth Hubbard through a lively and entertaining Cook-Off.

Food kept coming throughout the day as MHPE volunteers  multi-tasked – BBQ chef,  car-park attendant, meet and greet, kitchen-hand, food preparation, putting showbags together – no task was too much for our dedicated volunteers.

As well as the Expo that was attended by over 440 people, MHPE volunteers planned and held VHW events on the theme of Nutrition in Ardrossan,  Broken Hill, Christies Beach, Burnside (9RAR) and Richmond (TIP Association).  Guest speakers, nutritionists and dieticians and Cooking for 1 or 2 demonstrations and tastings were the feature of these events that were well attended and enjoyed by all.

All in all, the VHW Expo events held throughout the state were a great success.  The involvement by MHPE volunteers was fantastic.  Such was the success of working together this year, that everyone has decided they’d like to come back and do it all again next year.  Especially as Margie has managed to get a letter folding machine!!!!

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State round up: Qld

Mary Andrew Qld MHPE Co-ordinator

MHPE Network Meetings

Following the Recall training days earlier this year, MHPE volunteers in a number of regions instigated their own network meetings. The objective of such networks included to share ideas / support each other though a ‘buddy system’ and/or be a forum for invited guest speakers on agreed topics of interest.

Feedback has been positive; as prior to these network meetings, most volunteers only met each other once a year at the Recall training days.  Unfortunately, in some regions, regular volunteer meetings aren’t possible due to the tyranny of distance - some volunteers can be more than 300kms from their nearest ‘buddy’

Rather than have guest speakers, one group of volunteers used the network meeting to run a ‘practice’ Pit Stop to familiarise themselves with the process / what’s involved / resources required etc so that they could then incorporate this as part of their MHPE role.  Following the practice run, MHPE Volunteers Ian Dainer and Graham Field co-ordinated a very successful Pitstop as part of the Veterans’ Health and Lifestyle Expo at Ipswich RSL – see separate article by Ian.

The Expo attracted over 30 exhibitors with an estimated attendance of 300-400.  Despite some initial reluctance, over 50 ‘vehicles’ entered the Pits.  This included the Federal Member for Blair, Mr Shayne Neumann MP, who found himself the subject of a very public assessment!.  Fortunately he was found to be roadworthy!!

It was a well organised affair, and only limited by the number of ‘troops’ available on the day.  A dedicated person took charge of registrations, giving all an overview of the exercise.  Jenny Hyde (RN St Andrew’s Hospital Ipswich) conducted the BP and personal measurement check; Graham (MHPE Volunteer & RN) walked every "vehicle " through the stations providing one on one service, before referring to me for the "Right Mix".  All were subsequently referred back to for assessment and final professional advice.  This worked very well, but was physically demanding over the five hour period.  However it was a very successful day and is set to become a permanent fixture on the Ipswich events calendar.

Many women accompanied their blokes through the exercise and it was clear to all that some barriers, particularly to men addressing their health, were knocked down

Ian Dainer MHPE Volunteer, Ipswich

New Volunteer Representative see Rep’s Corner page 27.

Welcome to John Macartney Childerswho has taken on the role of MHPE Volunteer Representative for Nth Qld (this includes Nth & Far Nth Qld plus Central & Wide Bay regions). John’s two year term of office commenced 1 July 2010 and is one of two Volunteer Representatives in Qld.  Peter Harvey continues as Volunteer Representative for Sth Qld (this includes Brisbane; Gold Coast; Darling Downs; Sunshine Coast & Sth Burnett).

To support John, Sean O’Mara has agreed to be the regional representative.  As some of you are aware, Sean is a very experienced volunteer (and was a volunteer representative himself for many years). Having the support of a regional rep in this region is crucial - given the tyranny of distance between Childers and the far north of Qld - and much appreciated by John. 

Welcome to John and Sean and thanks also to Peter Turner for his contribution to the Volunteer Representative role over the pas two years.

Training for New Volunteers

Training for new Volunteers is scheduled for October 12-14 and will be conducted at the DVA office in Brisbane.  Seven applicants have confirmed their availability and we’re awaiting confirmation from a further seven.  The targeted areas for the training have been potential  volunteers in areas where there are no currently trained volunteers, particularly in regional /rural areas and to secure a second trained volunteer in other areas (acknowledging the value of the buddy system)

Please contact Mary Andrew if you would like to more about becoming a trained MHPE Volunteer.

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State Round Up: TAS

By Ian James TAS MHPE Volunteer Representative.

CHANGING THE ‘NO-ONE KNEW’

On the 13^th Of July 2010, I along with large number other Naval and Ex-naval personnel gathered at Leeuwin Barracks in Fremantle for the dedication of a Memorial, commemorating all who entered the Royal Australian Navy by the Junior Recruit Scheme. This system of entry operated from 1960 to 1984, mainly at the then HMAS Leeuwin (now Leeuwin Barracks operated by the army), there was a limited number who entered through HMAS Cererbus in Victoria.  Over the full period approximately eleven thousand boys aged fifteen and a half to sixteen and a half joined the navy in this way. The idea behind the scheme was to provide the navy crews for the new, technically advanced systems and seagoing units. The recruits on entry remained at either Leeuwin or Cererbus undertaking academic studies, with a small amount of service training. On graduation they were posted to sea for a short period and then sent to do branch training at the appropriate shore establishment. The availability of these young men meant that most ships serving in the Far East Strategic Reserve or in Vietnam had junior recruits as part of their crews. These recruits were used to carry out many of the menial tasks necessary for ships to complete their tours of duty. The Memorial, erected at the Leeuwin Barracks, was dedicated by the Chief of Naval Staff, Vice Admiral Russ Crane, himself a junior recruit who entered the navy through HMAS Leeuwin in 1970.

The question many will be now be asking is what has this got to do with Men’s Health Peer Education?  For me it has everything.

In talking to many people that I had not seen or spoken to for more than thirty years, I was amazed to discover the number of members from my own intake and from the intakes on either side of mine, who had taken their final posting. Many of these were the result of heart problems, cancer or complications as a result of cancer.  When comparing our life experiences it was usually agreed that we were totally unprepared for the drastic changes that had overtaken us. The same stories were repeated over and over again - the only difference being the location and times of events. The majority these men have retained their fierce self belief and an ability not to display any weaknesses or signs of illness to others. 

By attending the Junior Recruit Memorial Dedication, I allowed myself to see much more of what was happening to my peer group and other ex-junior recruits. I had the opportunity to talk with a diverse range of males who have had similar experiences to myself.  It recharged me and reinforced my belief in the Men’s Health Peer Education Program and demonstrated once again just how important this type of program is.

In the discussions we had about our departed friends and comrades, it was repeatedly stated;

• ‘No-one knew.’
• ’He never said.’
• ’ He was pretty secretive about what was happening.’
• ‘There was no way he’d talk to a doctor!’

 As any Men’s Health Peer Education Volunteer knows, the whole point of the program is to help change this thinking and convince males that it is all right to get the help they need.  As a friend or peer, the volunteer is in a good position to talk beyond these blocks. In not being an expert or an authority, it is easier for the volunteer to talk in simple and understandable terms, getting the other veteran to accept that things are changing and that seeking professional help is not a reflection on their independence or manliness. It was important for me that by talking to these new and old acquaintances my  enthusiasm received a real boost. I remembered that there are still many veterans who live in isolation, who remain fiercely independent and it will take a Men’s  Health Peer Education Volunteer or a person who understands, to change the “No-one knew” and help them accept and seek the professional support they possibly need. 

For specific information about the MHPE program in your state or territory, please contact the relevant DVA MHPE Coordinator

Mary Andrew, Queensland, 07 3223 8325, Mary.Andrew@dva.gov.au

Jumae Atkinson, Western Australia, 08 9366 8355, Jumae.Atkinson@dva.gov.au

Rebecca Chumbley, Victoria, 03 9284 6727, Rebecca.Chumbley@dva.gov.au

Sue Filipovich, Northern Territory, 08 8935 1424, Sue Filipovich@dva.gov.au

Margie Gutteridge, South Australia, 08 8290 0375, Margie.Gutteridge@dva.gov.au

Dale Emery, Tasmania, 03 6221 6711, Dale.Emery@dva.gov.au

Debra Harslett, New South Wales, 02 9213 7661, Debra.Harslett@dva.gov.au

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Next Issue:  Grief and Loss.  Deadline for articles or ideas for the next issue is 15 October.