VVCS - Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service

FAMILY THERAPY

Family therapy helps people look at difficulties within the family and provides an opportunity to work together to solve problems. Emphasis is also given to discovering new ways that the family can operate around the effects of trauma so that all family members can gain maximum care and support from their families. It involves family members meeting with a qualified and experienced counsellor in a safe, caring and confidential setting.

When dealing with veterans and their families, family therapy is most effective after specific trauma-related issues have been dealt with in personal counselling for veterans, and when veterans are able to see themselves in relation to the whole family.

VVCS - Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service counsellors know that veterans do not live in an "emotional vacuum", and that their families often bear the full brunt of their psychological war-related disability. Family relationships can suffer significantly as a result of a family member, particularly a parent/father, having posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is also crucial that the impact of PTSD on all generations of a family be reduced.

Having a father who has PTSD can impact on families in several ways:

A father suffering PTSD often has great difficulty in being close to his children. Love is often conditional on the child acting a certain way or is not shown as the father can feel that loving someone makes him vulnerable. When someone is so preoccupied with their own thoughts and reactions, it is hard to consider the feelings and needs of others.
When veterans cut themselves off from family members, tensions often occur. Couple relationships are often fragile, tense and full of conflict which creates confusion, unhappiness and poor parenting for children.
PTSD sufferers often need to control the lives of others (in an attempt to reduce the lack of control in their own lives). This causes difficulties in families. Very young children often cannot be controlled as easily as a frustrated adult would want. The need to control the behaviour of children often results in them being afraid and anxious, and feeling dominated by the parent, sometimes to the extent of being abused. This has future implications for children's self-esteem.
Veterans often have high hopes of their children's success so that they can feel good about themselves. When the children cannot live up to expectations, conflict often arises.
The control, expectations and conflicts usually escalate during teenage years.
As children become teenagers and move towards independence, fathers are often unable to accept what their children want to do and the way they want to do it. Teenagers can be very difficult and frustrating for any father, but fathers who have PTSD become very distressed when they cannot control the actions of their children. Not being in control ultimately triggers memories of being overwhelmed and of the experience of loss of control during the original traumatic event.
Emotional conflicts with loved ones causes an increase in stress in people who are already traumatised and can trigger PTSD. Sometimes veterans re-experience feelings and events which further adds to the stress.
Many veterans are worried about their children's safety and security, particularly when not living at home with them. These veterans know from firsthand experience that the world is not always a safe place.

VVCS counsellors are very familiar with these patterns of behaviour. In family therapy counsellors work to ensure that intrusive patterns caused by PTSD have limited effects on the family so that positive and constructive practices can begin to occur for them. Stress management skills are also provided as part of family therapy.

Since VVCS was officially opened in January 1982 counsellors have found that veterans who experience trauma have a far greater ability to recover if they have strong and healthy support from their families. Most families want to help a loved one suffering the effects of trauma. Coincidentally, this will be one of the most valuable treatments for the traumatised person.

Contact your nearest VVCS Centre to discuss the appropriateness of family therapy as a treatment option for you and your family.